A History of Gumoldery in United Kingdom, North America and New South Wales

The gumolderers (cf. Gumolderers) are an arcane forearm of the British masons, formed is Chelmsford in 1817 with chapters in Aurora Nova, Wales, the United States and Australia. Gumoldery is the (now archaic) title given to any mason-polymath; the term currently finding favor on the internet currently as a multipotentalite.

A secret society at the heart of the first occupants of Morrowvale, who styled their city with Victorian architecture of the time.

A feud with King Edward II showed a reluctance to proceed with UK templates and a new order formed in Aurora Nova.

The gumolderers were distinguished by being the multi-potentialites of their generation; erstwhile referred to as jacks-of-all-trades.

The legend of the Gumolderers is closely tied to a key story in the mythology of Morrowvale, which explains how the classic lifts of the city were all similar to the Art Deco tradition made popular by the Otis Elevator co., but with a particular catch; before associated societies in trade unions, recurring trade disagreements between different guilds of tradespeople during the 19th century, the Morrowvale Lift Co. could never get service for their elevators during lift breakdowns, because either of the two main guilds were feuding with the other, resulting in impossible service delays. 

From out of the woodwork, the Guild of Gumolderers rose up and offered the Morrowvale Lift Co. a retainer their services with exclusivity, since they were the jacks of all trades guild and could technically handle requests normally directed to either of the two lead Guilds. So, with a recurring trade argument every other week between the Union of Shopworkers and the Morrowvale Engineers Union, fulfilling insurance requirements that an engineer be present on-site whenever a technician was needed to restore service on a lift, typically filled with trapped passengers.

The clash between the Society of Engineers and the Morrowvale Fire Brigade (Instead of there being an Associated Society of Engineers and Fire Brigade) also resulted in the contract going to G4 (Greater Grötness Guild of Gumolderers). Whenever a dispute between two trade unions would manage to upset the work sector enough, the Gumolderers would manage to zip in and fix things, a bit like Harry Tuttle in Terry Gilliam’s film, Brazil. In 1960, the Morrowvale Lift Co. informed both Union leaders in no uncertain terms that neither guild’s services were needed – and that in future, all their lifts would ONLY be serviced by the Gumolderers. This created a Cold War in trade over the decades to follow, where regular disputes being absorbed by the impartial and always willing to please Gumolderers in all vertical markets throughout Morrowvale. 

All of Morrowvale’s main landmarks, which were retrofitted during the 1940s and 50s, repairing significant damage incurred during WW2 blitz bombing raids on Morrowvale by the Germans, resulted in a new lift system being installed in all the major architectural buildings by architect Victor Austerity Jones. He worked principally with the Morrowvale Lift Co., which was commissioned to install a compatible lift system, and which would extend some distance too, below the ground’s surface. Inside each lift, upon the bottom of the baseplate, has a panel with multiple “add-on” keyholes, labeled in a vaguely “iconic” (masonic) code. The presence of a planned Lift stops at the tube station level reveals a bigger piece of Jones’ architectural vision for Morrowvale, resulting in massive interconnectivity between buildings and other levels underground.

A key holder (client) would have access to only their level, but a Gumolderer would naturally hold a skeleton key, for all levels.

The only evidence, therefore, as to what lay below a particular building or landmark with a lift, was indicated (possibly) by the number of additional keyholes below the main panels row of buttons. 

Gumoldery is typically established in a cobbler’s, or miller’s shop (or milliner’s, if there are enough letters); one with ample access to saddlery, scythes, barber’s cloths and chair and especially a wooden spool. The spool can be anywhere from several hundred millimeters, to fifteen feet in diameter, depending upon the millinerists’ trade laws for that age group (10-12, 21-34, etc.). Seniors must pay a pre-penalty based upon their age, per the ante Quocum clause of 1881, a workmen’s treaty which was found crumpled up inside of a sock along with some soiled bandages and quite a bit of fag-ash. 

Until the 1900s, the fines for tradesfolk being caught gumoldering were steep, typically resulting in excessive and poorly ratified prison sentences. Inigo Gratitude Jones, and Margaux Woodley Jones were the first two residents of Morrowvale to be met with the death sentence for gumoldering in the direction of others, in an outwardly effusive manner.